Mafia Gazette Past Issue 17
5th September, 2005 '"SUICIDE BY POLICE" OVERTAKEN AS MAIN CAUSE OF DEATH ' For the first time in recent history, the Police Forces are not longer the biggest killers on the streets. People are still being killed attempting to evade capture, however the biggest killers on the streets now are out in the community. With the dramatic fall in the number of street bosses per head of the population, it would seem that anarchy might be breaking out in certain parts of our cities. Bodies are being discovered in alleyways on an almost hourly basis, most having died from gunshot wounds to the head or chest areas. Some even have multiple wounds as if they had been in a pitched battle with their assailant before dying and being thrown into the alley, left where they fell or being pushed into dumpsters. Refuse collectors have threatened to go on strike following a spate of bodies in dumpsters and health experts are starting to issue disease warnings as a result of the rotting corpses still lying undiscovered in alleys. Cleanup crews are expected to be working through the cities over the next few weeks in an effort to remove all corpses, although it is as yet unclear what will be done with all the cadavers. City planners have debated a morgue under each city to store all the bones in, but it has not yet been confirmed whether this will go ahead, or whether the more traditional cement burial at sea will be used. 'WEDDING CONFUSION ' Confusion and rumour are rife on the subject of the Montello wedding plans. The wedding of AntonioMontello1 and Caserr was announced on the first of this month, with congratulations pouring in from all sides. The situation is now in confusion following the deaths of both bride and groom. The groom was killed early yesterday morning, with the bride to be following several hours later at around four o’clock yesterday afternoon. Both funerals saw the appearance of individuals who were almost identical to the deceased. These individuals are currently in the community claiming to be the dead couple and continuing on with the wedding plans of the murdered pair. It is as yet unclear who this pair are and what their motives are for living the lives of this tragic couple. Police have warned that the pair may be fraudsters attempting to make off with the expensive wedding gifts that the community have been pledging to the couple. 'WHO'S AFTERLIFE IS IT ANYWAY?' By: Thisbe In recent weeks, Afterlife - arguably one of the largest organizations in the community - has suffered a series of blows to which many outsiders have described as crippling. The catalyst for this mayhem? A single person, a crazed, power hungry killer by the name of Chell. Whilst her name has been tossed around freely since the beginning, no one has ever been truly sure of the facts. In a rare interview, she offered to enlighten you, the public, in her reasoning of events and us. She admitted how she was not the boss of Afterlife but was open about her desire to have that title bestowed upon her, and the power and influence which she would have as a result over everyone. Realising that she could never be in this position, she looked for another way to achieve her goal and set about bringing down Afterlife from within - a plan, which ensured chaos in the ranks and uncertainty as to who could be trusted. Using some of her existing power and contacts, she drew a few followers and began to unleash terror on other leading authority figures, TheLieutenant and YungVito included. "Yeah, I've killed over ten people so far" She revealed, "And, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't proud" Frankie Figs was another target of hers and, using a cover story full of lies, was able to persuade her followers to aid her eliminate him and those assisting him. Many died in the conflict and, upon their death, realised their disastrous mistake and deserted her. Chell survived this battle even stronger then ever, despite the loss of allies, and using different identities, went on to murder others. Her actions served to split Afterlife and loose it's members, as well as ruin it's respect whilst she slowly gained power through terror. At this point, she refused to reveal any more, except one last thing: "All I can say is that, yes, I am still at large, and yes, the deaths will continue." There you have it, from her mouth, the truth behind the most lethal serial killer of these times. What has she got planned for the future and how many more must die before she reaches her destiny? Only Chell knows, but as one un-named person said, "The killings will continue until she is tamed, until she is loved. Only then will she stop" The question is, who can possibly love a killer as brutal as her? Only time will tell 'PUBLIC NOTICE ' FAMIGLIA DE CARCERE Was formally disbanded two days before the deadline. They disbanded to prevent a worldwide war, which would have resulted in too many SB and their families’ deaths. We to would have been killed but were willing to fight. We disbanded to prevent a war that is very unneeded. I am making this publicly know through the newspaper because I still to this day get asked about it. We want peace there will be enough war to come. Thank you. Salvatore Gravano Former Don of the Famiglia De Carcere 'NEWSPAPER SUBSCRIPTION SERVICE ' The Gazette will now be offering a subscription service for anyone wishing to receive the Mafia Gazette by mob mail or post. Subscriptions will cost$200 per week, $380 per fortnight, $700 per month or $5,000 for a lifetime subscription (post option only for fortnightly, monthly or lifetime subscriptions). All subscriptions will start from the day after subscription fees are paid. Please contact Tallulah for details of subscriptions or to apply to deliver the Gazette weekly subscriptions. Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact Tallulah, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. '' 'COOKERY CORNER Recipes From Rhiannon Grilled Chicken with Basil Dressing Recipe Summary Difficulty: Easy Prep Time: 15 minutes Inactive Prep Time: 30 minutes Cook Time: 10 minutes Yield: 6 servings Ingredients 2/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil 3 tablespoons plus 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice 1 1/2 teaspoons fennel seeds, coarsely crushed 1 1/2 teaspoons salt 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 6 boneless skinless chicken breasts 1 cup lightly packed fresh basil leaves 1 large clove garlic 1 teaspoon grated lemon zest How to prepare Whisk 1/3 cup of oil, 3 tablespoons of lemon juice, fennel seeds, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper in a heavy-duty re-sealable plastic bag. Add the chicken and seal the bag. Massage the marinade into the chicken. Refrigerate at least 30 minutes and up to 1 day, turning the chicken occasionally. Meanwhile, blend the basil, garlic, lemon zest, remaining 1/4 cup lemon juice, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper in a blender until smooth. Gradually blend in the remaining 1/3 cup oil. Season the basil sauce, to taste, with more salt and pepper, if desired. Prepare the barbecue for medium-high heat or preheat a grill pan over medium-high heat. Grill the chicken until just cooked through, about 5 minutes per side. Transfer the chicken to plates. Drizzle the basil sauce over and serve. '''WE HEAR THAT… Gossip column by: Trixie ….The new gods in the community are none other than the Noobs. Sure it might just have been a silly typo on a poster, but who are we to not take everything so literal to make others look like idiots? ….Some certain females are on the look out for a giant microwave. They want to shove someone’s fat head in it, and then make it go “POP!” If you have one, please call Tallulah. ….more and more people are getting on the “Bitch about whatever they can” bandwagon. Folks, we are part of the mob. If you want to whine, I suggest you go to my son’s daycare. ….And just because there isn’t enough of it….Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen Mug Mysterymen. There, happy you whiners? Le sigh. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to Tallulah at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. TALLULAH’S SPEAKEASY CLUB AND BAR, CHICAGO Come to Chicago and sample the delights of our club and bar. The bar is open all day every day for drinks, food and entertainment. Come on in, sit on our comfy sofas, or for privacy, use one of our specially soundproofed booths. Waitress service throughout and a wide range of beers, spirits and mixers on offer. All the best booze from the black market straight to your glass, all at reasonable prices. If you’re hungry, why not stop in and have a delicious home cooked meal. The club can be found by entering the bookshop on 4th street at the following address: http://www.mafia.org/m2/comm-readpost.php?bar&id=84 ---- HORSE FOR SALE Slippery Momma - $300,000 Almost Always Places At Least GREAT OFFER! mm JimRat POSITIONS AVAILABLE We are also pleased to advertise positions available at Don’t Tell Mama’s We are looking for hard working, enthusiastic and loyal staff to create a "family" atmosphere. Team-work skills will be developed; training takes place in-house by experienced professionals. Excellent promotion opportunities are available at Don’t Tell Mama’s; you will find that you benefit from the senior staff's expertise. Please send enquiries to Franko. An interview will be set up in due course. ---- Interested in making big bucks? Join me, HITMAN INC. Personal Particulars are strictly confidential. For more info, mail to Jovinceino 'REFERENCES' '''1. '''Article taken from http://pvp.a.mafia.org/gazette.php?issue=25. Browse • • • • • • •